What was playing on the screen at the time, I could not remember. It was only the distinct sadness I felt that blurred my vision. I turned away from the TV and saw my mom with two silent streams of tears down her face. She wiped them away just as my dad switched the channel.
“But It felt like a judgement to me! How it sounds like doesn’t matter; it’s how I feel! Remember your talk on suicide intervention? You said the key is to listen non-judgmentally! Maybe that’s the care I need!”
“In that sense, it is extremely difficult. But why do people make it seem so easy? It’s like, we just take it for granted that a married couple should just love each other until deaths do them apart.”
“Well, I just told them to both shut up and eat. Okay, I didn’t say those words exactly, but I did ask them to keep calm for our dinner’s sake. Sigh, I wish they could learn to fight more effectively.”
“What? But how could that possibly be satisfying for you? Did he perform oral on you or at least fingering? And the cuddle afterwards? What was in it for you?”
“Yes. They model after their parents. So whatever the parents do, the children will mimic. For example, if their parents have bad habits like smoking, drinking or gambling, they will also learn to do those things.”
“I know how sick this is. Back then, I was seriously horrified and ashamed of my thoughts. Something triggered my past memory yesterday and I googled to see if that was normal.”
“Are you going to eat that? I’m so disappointed in you! Where did you get that? Don’t tell me… you went out to get this bucket of KFC!? You’ve been so good with the salads!”
“Yeah yeah. You are so arrogant and that’s why you secretly look down on me and the way I live. So what if I find no fulfillment in my job? At least I’m in a field with actual career growth and making more money than you. “
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