Why It’s So Hard to Be Your Partner’s Best Friend

How big is your heart?

Watching the neatly folded linens, we stood awkwardly on each end of the bed. It was almost midnight, and in my head, I was calculating how many hours of sleep I could get.

It was the first time I saw his anger and frustration…

He: I feel that you are different. *tone cold*

Me: What do you mean? *tone wounded*

He: You changed. After we got together, you act differently.

Me: What about you? You also changed. *shot back quickly*

He: Yeah, I’m reacting to your change. *unwavering*

Me: So what was I like when we were friends?

Photo by Pelle Martin on Unsplash


I did not need him to tell me. I felt it, too.

They warn people about how their partners change from a friendship to a relationship.

Though, I thought we would be an exception.


Perhaps most people understand. Love doesn’t just stop at the moment you announce the breakup. The feeling may be gone, but love is beyond a mere feeling.

Leaning against the pillow, I sat with my knees together on the bed…

Me: Why would you want to know my thoughts about my ex even though it’s hard for you? *cocked my head curiously*

He: Mmm… I don’t know. *frowned slightly*

I waited.

He: Maybe it’s because if I were your friend, I’d like to know.

Photo by Giovanni Ribeiro on Unsplash


So, it’s a choice then, to set aside your insecurity.

Playing the role of a friend and a partner takes conscious effort.

Sometimes, understanding hurts, but what might be the cost of turning away?

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