Well, you are not alone.
Moving from uninstalling Instagram and Facebook to deactivating the accounts altogether, I’ve stayed away from social media for a few years now. As an ex-YouTuber, I used to live and breathe off these things.
Recalling the memory of keeping tracks of views, likes and comments, I was obsessed…
Right brain: Wait, hang on, that video! You have more dislikes than likes! Oh boy, you need to do something about it! Take it down NOW! *screamed*
Left brain: Calm down, negative attention is still attention. *sipping iced tea*
Right brain: Umm, you are not getting the usual number of views on this video you just posted… are you sure 10AM was your most popular hour? *scratched head*
Left brain: Yes, I had checked the Tuesday analytics. Relax, if it’s good content, people will click. *shrugged*
Right brain: DID THAT PERSON JUST CALL YOU FAT AND UGLY!???
I was not even that popular.
To those who looked on with admiration, I’ve said having an online public profile requires a strong heart.
Those comments and thumbs-downs hurt.
No matter how hard I tried to get away from numbers and ratings, they are pervasive. Since I began teaching English online, I had bookmarked my tutor profile page so I can check students’ feedback after each class, if any.
Left brain: The page is loading. Be patient.
Right brain: No! I refuse to believe it! I just got my second 4 rating! Who was it!? I had given my all today! *frustrated howls*
Left brain: Hey, but you also have 6 more 5 stars! And your average is still a 4.97. It will be fine. *reassured*
Right brain: But I will need so many more 5s to bring me back to 4.98! I worked so hard for this… *sobbed*
Left brain: I know. I know. You’ve done all you could, though. You put out your best performance forward, and if some don’t appreciate it, well, too bad. You can’t make everyone like you. Remember Hagrid?
I unsaved the bookmark.
Sometimes, your self-worth cannot help but be affected, especially the time when you are most vulnerable,
But you can choose to turn off the notifications.