We tried so hard, but no one warned us about the side effect.
Crying hysterically, I sat on the bed, refused to look at him…
Me: No, I don’t want to break up. Please don’t do this to me… *voice choking*
He: But I’ve already told you that this is my belief. When we started dating, it was made clear that premarital sex is a sin, therefore, forbidden. You cannot and will not change my mind. *face serious*
Me: I’m sorry. It’s my fault. Please don’t do this. You can’t do this to me! *shaking uncontrollably*
He: Umm… then you need to promise that you would stop trying to seduce me. I’m serious.
Me: Yes! I promise. Please don’t break up with me. I will control myself. *broke into a smile*
The memory of shame and embarrassment seared into my brain.
I couldn’t agree to the breakup.
How could I explain to my friends? We’ve only been together for a month. What would they say?
It was a Sunday evening. The mood in the apartment was somber and subdued. The remains of the sunset casted an orange hue through the balcony.
Standing on each end of the kitchen island, we did the 5 love language quiz to give our relationship one last chance. This time, it was him who bursted into tears…
He: I’ve always known that physical touch isn’t very important to you, and that’s okay… *sobbing*
Me: Yeah. For me, it’s acts of service and quality time… touch isn’t on my priority list. I can live without it.
He: Yes, and I’ve filled up your gas tank. I think you like that, right? *puppy-dog-eyes look*
Me: Yes… I do so appreciate that. Thank you, but I don’t feel the same for you anymore… *eyes downcast*
After almost eight years, I forgot how we started.
Perhaps I had learned to ignore my needs, and it worked for a while.
Some say who they are and how they behave have nothing to do with others.
They believe they are strong enough to resist any influences.
Perhaps, perhaps not.