The prospect was grim until someone mentioned friendship.
In a state of trance, my confusion and self-doubts clouded my judgement. Desperate for anything to hold onto, I sought out answers from anyone who seemed to be happily married…
Me: This may be too personal, but do you guys mind if I ask what you think is the key to your long term relationship? *tentatively*
He: If it wasn’t for my children, I wouldn’t still be married. *without hesitation*
Another chimed in.
He: You know my stance, I advise you young people not to get married. It’d be the mistake of your life. People change. *nonchalant*
She: Yes, I agree. If I had a next life, I would stay single and do my own things. *resigned*
Their answers did not surprise me.
I was not naive to the problems that marriage brings.
Two people struggle to merge their lifestyles and habits together without losing a sense of self. All the while they are expected to be the solid foundation for a family.
So many reluctant compromises and too many unsolved resentments.
She: Really? For me, it’s friendship.
Everyone turned to her.
She: It may not work for everyone, but I think it’s important to genuinely like the person for who he or she is. I really enjoy hanging out with my husband. He is my best friend. *shy smile*
She: But then again, every couple is different. It also helps that we are both needy. We text each other throughout the day and take on the phone during lun…ch… *trailed off*
The sound of vibration came from her desk, she grabbed it and gestured that it was her husband.
So, what is yours?