Being quarantined is physical isolation that traps you inside your head; being unemployed is mental isolation that cuts you out from society.
FaceTime is not my cup of tea, but on occasions, I’d give way to my friend’s relentless nagging.
She: If my dating life could last beyond this lockdown, then you know…! *snapped her fingers*
Me: Uh-huh. You’ve been on 3 dates before all these went down, right? And the last date was a Netflix and chill minus the action…? *eyebrow raised*
She: Okay, I made it clear that it’s not happening until we are serious. *suddenly serious*
Me: You are amazing. I am so proud. *genuinely impressed*
She: Thank you, but who knows how long this lockdown will last. You know I worked for a non-profit? They let go two designers and if they continue to cut, it’d be my friend next.
Me: What? I thought they’d try to keep their employees at times like this.
I was reminded of the time when I stayed home for 5 days straight without seeing or talking to another soul.
It may not sound like much but the aftermath of self-isolation scared me into a frenzy.
I couldn’t stop doubting myself with this prolonged unemployment.
Leaving my comfortable life behind and moving back to Toronto was what I wanted.
4 months later, still unemployed, I wasn’t so sure anymore. Still lying in bed, my first thought this morning made me realized the seriousness of my condition.
“I wish I could continue to sleep and never wake up”
Determined to get myself out of this downward spiral, I became a regular customer at the Starbucks across the road.
It was not easy.
Something as simple as getting up became a task to overcome. Persuading myself to put one foot in front of the other, I gave myself a mental pat on the head when I finally made it out the door.
“This is merely temporary. You will get better. Now just one step forward.”