I’m not addicted. It’s just that I want to stay connected at all times.
We’ve had conflicting ideas about the frequency of texting communication. This time was no exception…
He: I just don’t want to text when I’m home. I want to be unplugged and do my own things. If I’m texting, I can’t focus. *firm*
Me: But I want to be able to share my thoughts whenever they come up!
He: Right, but I know you are impatient so I feel the pressure to reply right away.
Me: Well.. you don’t have to… *sheepishly*
He: You become anxious when I don’t reply for a while.
Me: That’s true… *self-reflecting*
He: Have you thought about that you might be addicted? *blurred out*
Me: To texting? Excuse me? How can anyone be addicted to texting? This is how people communicate! *offended*
Often, it is difficult to view oneself objectively, especially when our defensive guards are up.
In my head, the term addiction has such a negative connotation that I would never associate it with my personal image.
“How dare he say that I’m addicted to texting! Everyone texts and it’s perfectly normal.”
It usually doesn’t take long for me to self-reflect, but I do need those moments. I decided to bring up the subject again…
Me: Maybe I am addicted to texting. *staring into space*
He: I think this is quite common nowadays. *cocked his head*
Me: Doesn’t make it ok though. The addiction is real, and I feel the anxiety when I can’t be connected with you 24/7.
He: Hmm… I think it’s okay. At least you are aware of it.
Me: Why don’t you want to text?
He: I want to put 100% of my attention into what I’m doing. I am terrible at multitasking. So if we were texting back and forth for an hour, that’s all I would be able to do, texting.
Me: Wait… what?! But we text constantly throughout the night? *shocked*
“How could someone not be able to multitask to the point that even the act of replying text messages distract them? He’d better not tell that to his future employer at the interview.”
As I had resolved in putting these thoughts to rest and got on with life, I noticed how much my attention was snatched away by texting. It is usually less than a minute but the constant switching between what I am doing and my phone has compromised my productivity.
I want to be fully present at the moment, whatever I am doing, whoever I am with.
Taking a walk on a rare breezy morning, I reached into my backpack for two origami hearts…
He: What are these? *a bit surprised*
Me: Letters! Handwritten letters! *cheerful*
He: …. *unfolded the origamis and began to read*
I could see tears rolling in his eyes. Bathing in warm sunlight, his eyes seemed exceptionally bright.